By Jess Feldt, Leadership Coach

For most of my professional career, I thought I was terrible at networking.

As an introvert, walking into a room full of strangers with name tags and business cards used to trigger major social anxiety. I am not good at small talk. I don’t like walking up to strangers. And what should I be doing with my hands? The best networkers I knew were bold, bubbly, and endlessly chatty. That wasn’t me.

But over time, I learned something important: introverts can be excellent networkers. Not in spite of our personalities, but because of them.

Rethink What Networking Looks Like

For many introverts, the word “networking” comes with baggage. We often associate it with forced smiles, shallow conversations, and awkward elevator pitches. But networking doesn’t have to look that way.

Networking is simply building relationships. It’s about connection, not performance.

Joining the Professional Women’s Club of Chicago (PWCC) helped me realize this. I joined my first luncheon out of a sheer need to meet with other adults in person after two years of COVID lockdown with my two toddlers. I was so nervous. I was worried I’d feel awkward and out of place.

Instead, I discovered an environment that felt structured, welcoming, and surprisingly aligned with how I prefer to connect. No one expected me to work the room or make a grand impression. There was time and space for meaningful conversation and that changed everything.

Here’s what I’ve learned about how to network effectively as an introvert, drawing on your natural strengths:

1. Lean into your curiosity.

Introverts are often deep thinkers and great listeners. These are superpowers in a networking setting. Instead of trying to impress, focus on being curious.

Try a simple conversation starter like, “What brought you to this event?” “How did you get into this field?” or “What’s something exciting happening in your work right now?” And then listen and be curious.

People love being listened to and you’ll learn a lot along the way. One or two genuine conversations can be far more powerful than working the whole room.

2. Follow up after the event.

While some people shine in the moment, introverts often do better when we have time to reflect. After a great chat, don’t feel pressure to make something happen on the spot. Instead, send a warm follow-up message the next day and invite them to grab coffee or hop on a quick Zoom.

It could be something like:

“I really enjoyed our chat at the luncheon yesterday. Would you be open to grabbing coffee sometime in the next few weeks? I’d love to hear more about your work in learning and development.”

That’s often where the real relationship begins. Following up is your chance to show thoughtfulness and build trust.

Jess Feldt presenting at the podium at a PWCC Luncheon. — Jess Feldt presenting a PWCC Luncheon.

3. Share something personal.

Introverts tend to dislike small talk because we value authenticity and deep connection. Authenticity and connection require a bit of vulnerability. You don’t have to overshare, but offering something a little personal can create connection. Mention your dog, your favorite local coffee spot, or a recent book you loved. It makes you memorable and relatable. At every luncheon we share something personal about ourselves and I find it is always an opening to a quality conversation.

Now, I know the world loves when things come in threes, but I’m going to offer up a fourth recommendation:

4. Play to your environment.

Not every networking event is created equal. Look for environments that suit your style: structured events, small-group settings, or workshops with built-in activities. Volunteer roles, committees, or discussion panels are also great ways to ease into connection.

When I joined the sponsorship committee at PWCC, I was amazed at how easily conversations flowed when we were collaborating on something meaningful. It didn’t feel like “networking,” it felt like teamwork, and that made it easier to show up as myself.

A Final Thought

When I shifted my mindset from “I’m not good at networking” to “I connect differently,” everything changed. PWCC has helped me build real, lasting relationships and I did not have to be anyone other than myself to do it. Fortunately, I’ve translated this learning and confidence to other arenas as well. It has served me well as I have attended conferences and stepped into new and bigger spaces with my coaching business.

If you are an introvert who avoids networking events, give yourself permission to do it your way. Show up with curiosity. Follow up with intention. Share who you are. That’s how connection happens.

Picture of Jess Feldt smiling in front of a gray background.

About the Author

Jess Feldt is a leadership coach who works with ambitious professionals, especially working parents, who are navigating the pressures of high-responsibility roles while raising young children. With a background in executive coaching and a master’s in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, Jess brings both deep expertise and real-world empathy to her work.

Before becoming a coach, Jess spent over a decade in consulting, balancing career growth with the messy, beautiful chaos of raising a young family. She knows firsthand how it feels to lead major initiatives at work, while still making it home in time for daycare pickup.

Jess helps leaders define success on their own terms, build boundaries that actually hold, and lead with clarity, without sacrificing their health, their relationships, or themselves. Her coaching combines research-based frameworks with a deep respect for the lived experience of modern working parents.

If you’re ready to move from “just surviving” to leading with intention, Jess is the kind of coach who will walk beside you and challenge you to grow.