Last year I discovered Marbles, the Brain Store and wished it existed when I was a caregiver. Check out www.marblesthebrainstore.com (they also have stores around the city) for puzzles and games that will help anyone at any age keep from "losing her marbles" while having fun.
Now, as promised, I'm continuing with Leeza Gibbons commandments for caregivers; for more information visit www.leezasplace.org.
Commandment 2: "NEVER ASSUME" -- anything about a loved one without having all the necessary information. Making assumptions about each other can lead to anger and resentment.
Commandment 3: "HAVE ONGOING FAMILY CONFERENCES" -- about the roles and responsibilities of everyone involved.
Commandment 4: "DO NOT ISOLATE" yourself if you are a caregiver. A caregiver support group can help you to cope with the stresses.
Commandment 5: "DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY" – because it isn't about you.
Commandment 6: "PLAN AHEAD/HAVE CONTINGENCY PLANS" – in my book I call this a willingness to be creative and flexible!
Commandment 7: "DO NOT FALL PREY TO SHAME & STIGMA" – if you are a caregiver and are becoming depressed, or have other issues, don't let shame or stigma keep you from getting the help you need.
Commandment 8: "USE COMMUNITY RESOURCES" available in your area and online. Both the caregiver and the loved one can benefit from the many programs offered.
Commandment 9: "HONOR SACRED MEMORIES" – the whole family should be involved in preserving family stories.
Commandment 10: "FIND HUMOR IN MANY PLACES" – sometimes you have to laugh so you don't cry, but any laughter is good for caregivers -- and their loved ones.
As always, please feel free to comment; I appreciate feedback. You may also submit your caregiving tips, share your experiences, or ask questions. I'll try to answer questions in future blogs. My goal is to be relevant to you and your caregiving.
Georgette H. Tarnow is an attorney, writer, and nonprofit manager in Chicago, whose forthcoming book, When Your Parent Becomes Your Child: Advice for Caregivers…from a Daughter Who Spent 23 Years Dealing with Aging and Dementia, chronicles her caregiving experiences. For more information, please visit www.yourcaregiving.com or email her at G@TarnowEsq.com.